In my experience, many otherwise intelligent women are clueless as to what is sexy.  Maybe it's because what they find sexy in a man is so different from what a man finds sexy in a woman.  So let's define it here and now:

If you hadn't noticed, a huge part of life revolves around "sexy".  It's the biggest business on earth.  It is THE driving force in men with regards to their romantic interest at least initially and without it, your prospects of romance approach zero.

Sexy looks good to most people.  Most people would be sexier if possible without a lot of effort.  Most would be sexier if possible even if it required extreme effort.   Those that do not either do not think it is possible, do not know how, do not feel the effort required would bring about a significant difference sufficient to justify the effort, don't think it can be done without including a look that some will respond to negatively such as looking trashy or loose.

You should decide if you want to be part of what looks great or "chastise it and sit on the sideline."  If you can't compete, you can't compete, that's the bottom line.  But, if you are average or better, you not only can complete in being sexy, with knowledge and effort, you can dominate and define it. 

Not everybody is capable of being sexy. That's a fact.  But most CAN. 

Not everybody agrees what is Sexy.  Sexy is about causing the desire for sex and the elderly, the obese, the homely, and the gender neutral are all going to have a rough time causing arousal, at least visual arousal.

While a bare naked body can be sexy, more often than not, sexy isn't about a person themself, it is about the thoughts they invoke in another through mostly sight but also smell, touch, and sound.

It is about invoking arousal in another. Martha Stewart is reasonably attractive and anything BUT sexy, at least in her public version.

Tina Turner, is borderline attractive but is very sexy. "NICE" is rarely sexy. "Naughty" is almost always sexy, that's why it is thought of as "naughty", some Puritan or conservative defined naughty to be that desire for something prohibited, such as arousal outside the rule book.

So all the woman that are attracting but not catching, try being sexy instead of or in addition to attractive and forget about avoiding loose, cheap, slutty, and low class, when it comes to sexy, those boundaries are definitely crossed, sometimes necessarily and almost by definition. Yes, being sexy will cause many women to feel embarrassed, self conscious, even dirty, exploited, or sinful. If that's how they relate raw sexuality, they should see a shrink, they probably think the same way about sex unless it is layered, obscured, and justified with love or procreation. 

Many parents in an effort to protect their daughters, did great harm when they taught their daughters to associate love, self worth, class, and desirability with sexual prudence.   Suddenly, if she were to get fucked and not associated with further after that because the man did not want to, she is taught to feel dirty, cheap, exploited, worthless, without love, and now has her sexual availability wrapped in a protective set of rules designed to prevent a repeat occurrence when in actuality, the sexual experience had nothing to do with all those negative feelings, it was herself that projected those feelings onto herself, having been taught to do so.  She was taught that sex outside a predefined condition such as love, exclusivity, monogamy, and a relationship shall be bad and will cause a negative set of feelings, from cheap and worthless to dirty and unwanted.  Such stigma learned early in life can last a lifetime.

Did those ideas ever make sense?  Did knowing someone for a period of time make them less likely to be diseased, dirty, violent, or only pretending when they say they are in love?  Of course not.  But to this day, females continue to associated "knowing someone" as making that person more sexually acceptable, and without thinking about it, apply irrational policy to their sex.  He must be known, should be a friend that cares about her, ideally is in love with her and vice-versa, and that makes him safe, clean, disease free and she won't have her heart torn out (learned reaction) if he fucks her and leaves.

Meanwhile, boys were taught to emit or emulated or pretend to have or feel those same characteristics in order to GET sex but that sex itself was a pleasure to be sought and perhaps even a conquest.  You will never hear a man whimper how he felt used and worthless after she slept with him and then dumped him or how she wants him just for sex.  Those are LEARNED associations given to young women who echo the sentiments amongst each other to further reinforce and verify the idea.

Sexy is that which invokes thoughts of sex. Think prostitute or stripper and you're getting there, as the goal in either look is in fact, sexy. Not intelligent, not trashy, not classy, not elegant. Those don't invoke arousal, so they are not sexy buy definition.

What is sexy, is often inappropriate for public display.
It's still sexy. It can be cheap, slutty, and low class, but still sexy.
 

All you pansy ass excuse for men that write "a big heart and a warm smile and a pleasant person and intelligence or elegance are sexy", you are lying. You know that is how they have restricted their sexual access.  Stop writing what you think women want to hear.  Come back when you find your balls. 

Isn't it ironic that what sits as the #1 show stopper for the majority of men when evaluating whether or not they want to be romantically involved with someone, and that it is the single thing that DEFINES the difference between a romantic involvement vs. just friends, is also the one thing they are taught to pretend is last on their minds?  That they are taught that women won't like you and you will be taken as a disrespectful womanizing player if they find out that it's your #1 motivating factor, or even think that is high on your list of motivators?  Maybe THIS is where all the lying starts.

Women, you can't have it both ways. Which is it going to be, honesty or dishonesty, appearing that sexual intention is not the driving intention during any given interaction that includes romantic intent, or make no attempt to hide the fact that we are talking to you because we are aroused by the sight of your smile, your breasts, and that short shirt and we'd love to get you in bed.  Maybe lots of times.  Maybe forever.  See, men aren't JUST after sex.  But they ARE after sex.  Honesty it will be then.

Being in love can cause another to seem sexy regardless of condition, because the urge to breed is arousal, and that is what sexy is about: Arousal.
 

Features you do NOT want, in general:  NICE, ATTRACTIVE, CLASSY, APPROPRIATE, PROFESSIONAL, RESPONSIBLE, CONSERVATIVE, MODEST

Features you DO want:  TRASHY, SLUTTY, CHEAP, HOOKER, WHORE, LOOSE, LOW CLASS, STREET WALKER

Think about it.  Why does TRASHY come into play.  What does that word mean.  Is it fitting?  Is that bad?  Do the same with the other words.  How did the kind of woman who fucks ever get associated with NEGATIVE.  How is lack of pickiness or showing her body get negative labels. Sorry, you can't have it both ways, and you  have already been trying to STRADDLE two incompatible notions.  The object is to LOOK LIKE YOU FUCK and FUCK WELL and are FUCKABLE.  That is what SEXY is.  Forget the negative words, they were designed to restrict and repress and they are a farce.

Other features that are sexy. Soft hair, the sight of nipples even if covered, sight of breasts, curves, shoulders back - breasts out and up with the back arched, a sweet or musky smell, soft skin, hearing that I am sexy, all arouse me and thus are "sexy".

A tight t-shirt cropped to expose the belly button, tight jeans riding outrageously low on the hips, platform shoes, 4 inch or more heels, ultra-mini skirt, cleavage, cocked hips, devilish smile, propped up butt, knowledge of her arousal, when she loves her body even if fat, when a women touches herself sensuously, moans,  That's not going to be sexy to everybody or on everybody.  It will be downright hideous on some that could otherwise find a sexy look of their own.  The point is that sexy is usually what enhances the sexual and feminine aspects of a woman.  Nearly every woman has at least some sexual aspect in good enough shape to be emphasized for effect.  Deemphasize that which will detract, and you are on your way.

Sexual aggression. Very sexy.

Sex sells. Turn on any TV or open a magazine to see
what is selling. I'm pretty much in agreement with the media on that one. Brittney, J Lo, Pam, Christina Aguilera, all know what sexy is. Let them be your role model in that respect.

Sexy has a variety of levels. But to me, it means that which invokes arousing thoughts in others. Attractive is not sexy, it is attractive. Someone can be attractive but not sexy, but they cannot be sexy without being attractive. Intelligence is attractive, but it isn't sexy. It doesn't arouse me. It does not affect arousal.

More than half the women I've met either don't want to be sexy, or just are clueless.

FYI: Elegant and classy are rarely sexy. That's why they are elegant and classy, because they attempt to turn sexy into something conservative and upscale. Trash is sexy until it gets unattractive. Prostitutes are sexy unless they are repulsive or ugly. They practically are the definition of sexy without regard.

Sexy IS:

The colors red, yellow, blue, metallic, leather, plastic and vinyl. 

Thin straps. 

Short skirts

Lacy bras

Transparent tops

Form fitting clothes

Jeans that are low on the hip

Platform shoes

High heels

Exposed firm tummies especially if pierced at the belly button.

Nipples poking through to show their form.

Dangly ear rings

A single tattoo on the back just above the ass

Pushup and water bras

Cleavage

Corsets

Thigh high stockings (secret - thigh highs and garters barely peaking out of a short skirt worn in public will get a mans attention.  So simple, and yet nobody does it.  I was once in a disco where all the women were young, thin, and cute.  But all the men were gawking at a heavier, older, and not so pretty woman at the bar because under her black leather mini skirt, if you kept your eye on her, you'd be rewarded with a glimpse that showed she wore thigh highs and a garter belt.  It just SCREAMS, that "I'M SEXY, I FUCK AND LIKE IT".

Boy shorts and hot pants

Garters (not garter stockings) / Garter Belt

An arched back, shoulders back, chest out

A neat and trim landing strip down on the carpet.

A Rio cut or thong underwear

Sexual packaging of one's self from head to toe

Sweet perfume

The right amount of makeup

Lip liner

Shiny lips

Lipstick with funky unconventional colors

Ass propped up and out.

Explicit, no room for doubt, instructions in bed.

Leaning forward to steal a kiss. 

Wrapping your arms around him, your hands under his arms. 

A flat hand on his chest or a loose hand around his bicep when he’s facing you, as though admiring his build.  

Expressing arousal with anything deviant, as though the naughtier the better.

Standing with the tummy sucked in, chest exaggerated. 

Pouting.

Telling a man your main attraction is the way he looks, the way he is in bed. 

Telling a man about how you like something specific he does in bed. 

Speaking with a tone of soft feminine sensuality a la Bette Midler or trashy attitude a la Tina Turner.

Desire for sex regardless of his.

Calling it something other than sex.  Avoid the conservative words and above all, making love is not sexy.  It is nice, maybe even wonderful, but it isn’t sexy. 

Hands that explore his body. 

Hands anywhere leading down there.

Hands following the shape of his muscles, hands on his butt. NOT rubbing his shoulders like you are comforting a little girl or rubbing his hands like your want to gain his trust. 

Men have only one on/off button.  You know where it is.  If you are not using it, you are creating work for yourself.

Having a few extra pounds and carrying it around like it’s even sexier.  Being fat without embarrassment, hiding it, or pointing it out.  Self conscious is not sexy, it's like telling him you are not sexy, while confidence reinforces what that you think your are sexy, maybe he will too.

Exposure.  Skin.  Expose the legs, breasts, ass, back, and tummy.

That "f*** me" look.

Saying your sexual thoughts very explicitly without pause or fear of chastise.

Initiating the act without permission.

Advertising your assets.  Don't over do it.. 

Touching herself.

That look of desperation and lust, of begging, longing, wanting, and asking all with a simple glance.

Mentioning the specifics you find particularly attractive at the moment. 

Curves. 

Fitted.

Dressing such that your parents would NOT approve.

Daringly provocative

Colored undergarments or lack of undergarments.

A hat of any kind.

Buttons and string ties and zippers and seamless, and front snap bras and snap crotch and anything designed for easy “access”.  If it seems built for sex, it is a turn on.

Taking the sexual lead and suggesting the next level of adventure.

Flirting in front of him.  Not to want another man, but to make the other man what what your man has:  You.  Your value increases and you become sexier.

Pornography.  The biggest business of the Internet. May say they are turned off.  Most are lying.

Lingerie that doesn’t drape or isn’t baggy.

Looking like a prostitute, school girl, and all the other looks that are popular fantasy outfits.

Role playing when it is HER idea.

Insisting on that which you suspect is his secret desire as though it were yours, allowing him to enjoy free of baggage.

Boots.  The higher the better.  Zippers are sexier, so is patent leather.

Any clothing that is plastic, leather, shiny, colorful, skimpy, transparent, lacy, soft, and not suitable for a man.

Sexy is NOT:

High waisted pants

Polyester.

Pants with a low crotch

Pleated pants.

Wide straps

Underarm hair.

Hair on the breasts.

Deodorant stains

Razor bumps, acne, large raised moles, scars, stretch marks.

Stubby fingers.

Rough hand

Hands with nails cut short like a man

Extremely long fingernails.  (Who EVER thought that was sexy?)

Clothing that drapes including under things.

Anything loose, especially undergarments (the domain of the overweight)

Pantyhose (no access)

Panty liners. Sorry, a leaky vagina is not sexy.

Flat shoes.  Exception:  Athletic shoes.

Athletic shoes with dressy clothes.

Square toe shoes.  Pilgrims are not sexy.

Anything prim and proper

Clothes that take away the feminine shape

Men’s’ style jackets especially blazers, even worse with a decorative pin or scarf.

Long coats without a belt (except fur and leather)

Men’s clothing unless she is so curvy it clashes, then it is sexy.

A cocky attitude. It will amplify the chance of rejection, man’s #1 reason he will not approach. Unless you want to be a man.  Then be cocky. 

Excessive piercing, the bag lady look, limp hair, greasy scraggly hair as in the grunge look, underarm hair, too much hair on the carpet.

Stiff hair on the carpet trimmed tightly to form a carpet of sand paper. 

Helmet hair, hair that does not move.  Hair held in place with lots of hair spray.

Failure to make moves of your own.

Rubbing his arms unless you are admiring the muscle. 

Having a few extra pounds and dwelling, hiding it, and finally amplifying the case to where you are no longer sexual, you are gross.

Dressing in all black. Sorry, that little black dress works only if it is truly tiny, tight, short, and low cut, and then it is where it isn’t that is sexy.  The rest just makes you hard to see. 

Turtlenecks.  Nothing shouts hands off louder than a turtleneck..

Flannel (says I’m not feeling feminine or sexy, I just want to cuddle and be warm.)  Unless tied up exposing the belling like a country girl.

Layering. Think bag lady.

Sweat pants, jogging suits, sweaters and sweat shirts.

Anything baggy, especially big shorts.

Big jewelry (I’m big and not feminine

Wrinkly hands (I’m old, imagine what else is wrinkly

Hair on the face (I’m part man)

Thin lips (being kissed by a strict schoolmarm, my lips got that way from the tight and prudish look I’ve carried all my life)

Double chins (I’m fat everywhere)

Declarations of promiscuity (says to each man that HE is insignificant)

Frumpy posture as in shoulders forward, back curved forward, sagging breasts, neck forward like a pigeon, rolls of fat on the stomach, cellulite on thighs and buttocks.

Completely shaven down there.  Chickens are not sexy.  Leave some hair.

Big underwear.  Says I’m fat and reminds us of our mothers.  Not sexy.

Flowery perfume - save it for church, funerals, and meeting relatives.

 Clown makeup.  Know when it’s too much.

No makeup.  Even playboy models wear makeup.  It only takes you one direction.  Better.

Oily skin.  Lipstick coming off onto the end of a cigarette or the rim on a glass. 

Black, brown, or dark nail polish.

Pointing out a blemish.  We saw, and if we didn’t’ that’s even better,  don’t cause us to dwell on it.

Anal off limits.  It is an acquired taste, and not universal.  But survey say, it is often the preferred or at least an addition.  Can you say “double your pleasure?” Sex hurt at first too. And wine was disgusting.  Half your sexual  nerve endings are in the back side, as are his too. Your gain or loss.

Repulsion, fear, or avoidance of cock, vagina, and breast.

Playing hard to get to the extent that you BECOME hard to get.

Treating sex as a favor.  If you don’t like it, get help.

Acting different from your fantasy world.  You are lying.

Telling HIM that YOU are too heavy. He was OK with your weight. Now he is not.

Telling him to hurry or asking if he’s almost there. 

Saying anything that implies he is compensating for a small penis.

Challenging his manhood.  As in, A REAL MAN would …

Expressing disgust with his sexuality or deviancy.  It makes YOU unsexy.

Standing with tummy relaxed and hanging out as it will. Comfortable, but not especially sexy.

Prolonging an unpleasant mood by maintaining secrecy.

Insecurity, repeating yourself, disinterest in HIM, saying what is total BS and acting like it isn’t

Denying having fantasized about being with another woman at least once.  Any woman that hasn’t isn’t in touch with the sexuality of her body.

Describing promiscuity as diseased and dirty.  It is many things.  But not that.

Chastising men for looking or being aroused by something you don’t have or someone so NOT you.  That will get you resentment, even though it hurts.  Expressing that you TOO think it is hot makes YOU sexy.

Self criticism and insecurity.  Asking if you are fat, saying that you are fat., showing him or convincing him that you are fat. It screams “I don’t feel sexy”, so he won’t think of you as sexy.  Let him find sexy what he finds sexy and keep your insecurity  to yourself.

Wide legged pants.  Elephant pants.

Powder blue, pink, orange.  The rule but there are exceptions.

Beige or gray undergarments.  Are they dirty?  The look dirty.  Or old.

Patronizing.  You lose credibility.

Telling a man you like him for any reason that isn’t his looks or sexual prowess. Nice, just not sexy.

Speaking with a tone of anger, command, threat, or power unless you are a donning a dominatrix outfit.

Sex being conditioned upon how special the other has you in their mind.

Asking permission. 

Telling him that something “is a major turnoff”.  What will happen is,  anything that even approaches in the most remote way to being  what you said, will be avoided like the plague.  Sometimes for years.  Careful what you say.  Men fear rejection.  Men do not want to know what is “a major turnoff” unless you want him thinking, “major turnoff”.

Pleats (unless it is a cheerleader outfit).

Exposed tags.  Cut them off or tuck them away. 

Stains.

Expressing disgust or offense about someone else’s sexual activity or hypothetical activity.  See “Major Turnoff”.

Amplifying embarrassment.  (Ewww!  You’ve got a problem.  That’s sick.  Oh my God, you need help. What a weirdo.)

Doing his desire under the guise of doing  a big favor.  Very unsexy, don’t bother.

Sex as a weapon.

Alluding to sex having to be “earned”, as though it is a favor rather than something YOU want.  He will forever avoid you.  He wouldn’t want to “turn you off”.

Expressing disgust at the idea of sex without love.  You will be loved, but he’ll go elsewhere when he wants to “f***” else you will create your very own wimp and it will be YOU that goes elsewhere to get a good romp.

Telling a man he is short, bald, fat, or weak. He knows.

Pancake breasts that were inflated but are now deflated.  Fill them or prop them up.

Saddle bags on the thighs.

Cottage cheese.

Cellulite.

Stopping to go get a towel just prior to the act  …

Anything that is not sexy does not necessarily mean bad, it can be neutral.  But it CAN be negative depending on what it is.  For example, a turtleneck is not sexy.  It is neutral and if it's tight and the shape of your nipples can be seen, now it is overall, sexy as hell.  You can have a net negative sexual rating, meaning the bad outweighs the good, even thought that will be very subjective since different people weight the attributes differently, but put yourself back into the positive sexy zone with a super boost in attitude and gestures.  So it's not carved in stone.  If you have a perfect ass, to men that are into asses, nothing else matters.  There are even men who are all about attitude and if yours is right, he will find you sexy no matter what.  I know some men that will not find you sexy no matter what unless your attitude and gestures ooze sexuality AND they believe that you are finding THEM so sexy and are lusting them, an these men will find you sexy has hell under those conditions pretty much without regard to your looks.

Being sexy is more about looking good than being good looking and beyond looking good, it is about emitting sexual expression, as in gestures, movements, poses and ideas that say you "I fuck", "I want to be fucked", "I want you to fuck me", "I am built for fucking", etc. It starts with the mindset, moves into the look, and finishes with expression.

Almost anybody can achieve it with efforts.  I know you do just fine now and don't know how or don't think you can do any better for yourself or don't wish to be liked for your looks.  Come on, you know that's BS!!!
If you don't know how, you owe it to yourself to find out how and do it.
The below women in the top half did their transformation from plain to hot.  Once you are hot you will never go back to being plain until age gets the better party of you.

Maybe you have tried.  Maybe nothing seems to work with your hair, face, shape, or age.  I'm sorry, but it can be done.  It's not about selecting the right haircut, clothes, makeup, or getting your body in shape, at least not initially.  Given a selection of 100 people, you being about middle of the group in terms of who is sexy, and under the condition that every one of them puts forth their best effort to look sexy, by knowing the secrets to being sexy, YOU would be selected by any random group of men as being the sexiest woman of the 100, or at least in the top 5.  I sincerely advise any woman that is not a 9 or higher to actively pursue a professional and become that 9 or 10.  Such professionals are not easy to find.  The kind to look for are the ones that work on your head while most of the cosmetic changes you do all on your own as a result of the psychology and how it changes you forever by making your privy to how men perceive you, or could perceive you once you know what really think.  I am one of those professionals.  Do not seek one until you are ready for criticism and change.  Don't take it personally, the professional is not going to tell you what most people agree with.  That's the point.  You don't want to be like most people.  You want to be at the top of the sexy curve.

Before (5 - cute)   After (10 - outstanding)
44 years old

More Before and After (click for larger)
Rows 1 and 2:  Amateur Self Makeovers (after is below each)
Rows 3 and 4:  Celebrity Makeovers (after is to the right of each)

 

You want to be liked for more than your looks?  
So how does being lusted for your great looks prevent that?  It does not.  In fact it will bring a larger number of males to look inside and a more quality set of males as well.  That's why we decorate cakes, paint cars, wear perfume, color coordinate, groom ourselves, etc.  It's all to produce the most inviting presentation possible and it does not preclude the inside, and in fact just the opposite, it almost implies the inside is as good.

Wisdom from the MALE point of view.

Show the nipple if possible.

Prop up the breasts.  Think Corsets.

Arch the back always.

Flattened breasts need to be propped up so the are not flat.  A half bra is even better because it lifts but lets the nipple poke through.

No bra is better than a bra if breasts are firm and pointed way up high.  If not, wear a bra.   Avoid athletic wear.

Bras should be lacy, not smooth.  Smooth is when you want it hidden. 

Bras are sexy.  Lacier the better.  Black is better than white, and color is better than black (sometimes). 

Avoid skin-color, pastel, orange, and silver.  Avoid cheetah spots at all costs.

Think deep full color, bright color.  Any blouse that gives us a peek.  It could be transparent, it could be low cut, it could be just loose so as to give a peak.  If not, tight is next best.  Tight enough to exaggerate your shape.  Breasts of a C cup or bigger also look good in any type of a "sack", especially halters.  No under wire required.  And above all, avoid black except for the undergarments.  Wear black when you want to NOT be noticed.  Skimpy is sexy.

I imagine you in a pair of very low cut hipster jeans, skin tight around the ass, no elephant pant legs, bell bottom or straight  are good but they should be tight around the thighs.  A lacy red demi bra with an under wire, or a pushup bra. 

There are so many ways.  Corset's are hot, halters are hot.

Skirts.  It depends on how tall, but generally, the shorter the better the tighter the better.  Black is good.  Leather, vinyl, plastic, are the best.  Wool is the worst but still good.  Wear it low on the hips, a big slit is OK, but nowhere near as sexy as women think.   Even if you have a belly hanging out, never pull a pair of pants or a skirt up over the belly line.  It just looks bad.  Avoid pleated skirts.  The exception is if you are going for the cheer leader or school girl looks.  I'm not sure anything beats a short plaid skirt with a soft flowing white blouse or tight thin sleeveless white blouse, black patent leather shoes and lacy white bobby sox, together with a pair of round and plump breasts spilling out of a lacy bra, peaking out of that one extra button that was left undone.  I don't know why, but like garters, hardly a man exists that won't go crazy over the naughty school girl look, assuming you can pull it off head to toe.  It does not make us think of a girls in school.

Never wear high-waisted anything.  Very out dated. 

Wear some version of whatever is the latest thing in the cheap fashion stores where the 20 year olds shop.  Wear those clothes, those shoes.  Yes, it is out of character, but you can get away with it, because you look good, you carry the attitude, and it instantly knocks 10 years off your age, which is a good thing.  Not everything will look good on you.  Or maybe it will.  Act like your sex is your number 1 asset, and work it, even though we both know what's upstairs in the head is your REAL best asset. 

Think Erin Brokovich look.  She dressed like a trashy slut, she was hot, nobody fucked with her, and everybody wanted her.  They respected her. 

Flirting with other men is very sexy. 
But make this distinction.  Do not act like you like the man you are flirting with.  That is not sexy, it's competition, might cause insecurity in the others, and it is disrespectful.  Flirt so as to make THEM want YOU.  Very sexy.  Especially when done in front of your date, without permission or prior approval, not even seeking permission from his eyes, before or after. 

SEX.
Sexy is aggressive initiation, being sexually assertive.  A woman should never get rough.  It's too masculine.  Unless that is the role being played, as with a dominatrix.  A woman generally should be soft and sensuous, but forward and aggressive.   Not in an I'm Horny kind of way, but in a You Drive Me Crazy way.  It should be about them causing, not your feeling.  Think of "you are so hot I have to have you" with the emphasis on "you are so hot...have you" and deemphasize "...I have to...".

Goals.
A woman's goal in sex should not be to make a man orgasm, contrary to popular belief.  That's his responsibility, not yours.  Being goal oriented is setting both of you up for disappointment.  If she, for example, tries to show just how bad she can turn him on, he may sense this and feel obligated to respond accordingly in return for her efforts.  This is NOT what you intended.

Best Moves.
Do what YOU like.  When he senses you doing whatever because you are so damned horny and that is what YOU feel like doing at the moment, the closer you draw him because he feels absolution.  He passes as someone that can do it for you, now he can enjoy.  But don't do what you enjoy that makes him feel like you have done this before and he being there or not is rather icing than the cake.  For example, if you climb up on him and drop right into a mechanical motion that seems all too smooth it will make him feel like he is not part of whatever it is you are doing.

Sounds.
Don't be quiet.  Use moans effectively for feedback, and as you feel.  We won't hold you to bedroom declarations. It goes both ways. Don't get overly excited about that "declaration of forever", it was of the moment. 

Cumming.
It's OK to declare that you are cumming, IF you are cumming.  But if you do, then cum, and declare that you have cum.  Nothing is more annoying than a woman that declares she is cumming and then just keeps repeating it for the duration of the sex.  OK, you are cumming, have you cum yet?  Are you going to cum?  You told me 30 times already, why do you think this is still of interest to me, shut up so I can concentrate on myself instead of on the fact that YOU are still cumming.  When you declare that you are coming, you have implied that whatever we are doing at that moment is not to be changed or we might fuck it up.  If the man maintains for 30 seconds and you are still trying to achieve orgasm, then you were not cumming.  The fact that he has now pooped out in exhaustion and that you did not cum is your problem.  You said you were cumming and were not.

What's it about.
Better to declare that he was incredible than that the orgasm was.

Do Tell.
Share your sexual thoughts.  Do not tie them to love and forever. Unless you are married, you will scare him. But unconditional is even better.

Get a Life.

Are you still reading?  Don't you have better things to be doing?  Did you really need someone to spell all this out for you?  Hell, no.  So get out of here and do something productive!  Like hassling the webmaster.  Or telling him he's got it and it's refreshing.  There's nothing like a little shot of truth in the arm to make you want to declare allegiance and carry the banner.   Go enlighten your friends.  Or keep it secret and get all benefits just for you. 

Isn't this all so Shallow?
Is it the substance or presentation that counts?  Both, but especially presentation.  We don't question it elsewhere in our lives, why question it here.  It's no more shallow than an fixing up your home to be an inviting home, a romantic setting for dinner, spending more for a car that looks nice, dressing to attract and impress, staying well groomed beyond neat and clean, whitening your teeth, exercising because it looks good during and after, paying more for a designer name, washing your car often, avoiding a door ding at the mall, planting flowers, coloring your hair, buying a push-up bra, putting on perfume, ...  You get the idea.  Nearly every aspect of our lives is adorned with surface facades and covers all designed to heighten the senses while being of little practical value.

He will get to the inside. 
But the home must be inviting or he won't ever go in to see.  Your look is very much you. It is the you that everybody sees, don't discount it.  Just like his ability to earn money and be responsible and control his temper and stay fit are very much him. The two cannot be separated  If a person never gets beyond your looks, what's that say about you. You are responsible for both the inside AND the outside.  Just because your outside can't hack it doesn't make it not important.  Do what you can, worry about what you can control.

From the Book of Jim.
A women does not have to do all of these things to be sexy.  Sometimes it only takes 1.  Just having the visible outline of nipple, a pair of colored contact lenses, an exposed belly, any one of these as the only thing sexy can make the whole look be sexy.

NOW GO!

Below are ALL sexy.  Don't worry about the models' cute figures and faces, great hair and perfect complexions.  It's all smoke and mirrors.  The body, OK, they are in good shape, being sexy starts with the body, but a great body isn't required, it's just immensely helpful.  The rest is make-up, a good hair stylist or wig, just the right lighting,  good photography, models that know what kind of expression looks best on their faces and can run through a dozen of them at will, and finally, they know how to stand and cop a sexy pose. Look at how they stand, look at the expression on their faces.  Get the posture.  Look at how they know where to twist, arch, cock their hips                                                                      , and bend for effect.